WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU,
when you work with people.
Recognise difficult dynamics sooner – before they wear you down or tear your space apart.
10 recurring dynamics from 25 years of working with people. With early warning signs, key questions and practical words for difficult moments.
A digital Workbook for people who guide others and create spaces for growth.
You’re having the same conversation for the third time.
It’s intense. There’s reflection, understanding, even tears. And four weeks later, you’re right back where you started.
You set a boundary – and soon find yourself explaining it, justifying it, and finally defending it.
You support someone’s growth – and realise too late that admiration has turned into rivalry.
Someone needs something from you – and at some point you start feeling responsible for making sure they get it.
You receive criticism – and after the fifth conversation, you no longer know whether you really missed something or whether you’ve stopped trusting your own perception.
If you’ve worked with people for a long time, you know at least one of these situations.
I know them all.
And I know how much they cost you.
Why the hell did nobody tell me this?
When I founded my institute for intuition training 25 years ago, it grew by word of mouth alone. The trainings were full. I was thrilled, happy – and naive.
I assumed we all wanted the same thing: growth, insight, more freedom.
I am highly empathic. I see a person’s potential quickly. It’s one of my greatest strengths in guiding others. It also made me vulnerable.
Because what I lacked was a map for what can unfold when people work together over a long period of time.
Projection, idealisation and devaluation. Rivalry and power. Closeness, entitlement and dependency.
I understood a lot about what moved people. But I often recognised too late what was happening between us.
I set boundaries too late. I held on to people too long. When something went wrong, I looked at myself first – and sometimes only at myself.
After all, I was the one leading.
I went to supervision, took further training, worked on my own history. And still the question remained: What did I miss?
Until I told one of my teachers about it in a supervision session.
He replied dryly:
„Some people arrive angry and leave angry.“
Some would speak badly of me afterwards. I couldn’t prevent that. And in most cases, it had very little to do with me.
I still remember how unsettling and how relieving that was at the same time.
And then I got angry.
If all of you experienced people know this – why does nobody talk about it?
This Field Guide is the map I needed back then.
People aren't types.
But dynamics have patterns.
Sometimes you only recognise a pattern when you’re already deep inside it.
When you start doubting your own perception. When a single person takes up more of your attention than the entire rest of the group.
Or when you catch yourself thinking one of these thoughts:
- „I think more about this person’s development than they do.“
- „Someone who used to admire me has turned sharp since I became more visible.“
- „No matter how I respond to criticism, it’s used against me.“
- „I can see so clearly who this person could be that I keep giving them another chance.“
I’ve given these and other dynamics names:
The Endless Loop.
The Intimate Rival.
The Moral Sniper.
The Rescuer.
And six more that will probably feel suspiciously familiar.
In the Field Guide, I describe their early warning signs and the questions that help you make sense of a difficult situation.
So you can recognise sooner what’s happening – in the other person, in you, and between you.
And what if you're the problem?
Of course, the person leading can be the problem.
In spaces for growth, there is abuse of power, there are boundary violations and dependencies. People can have very good reasons to leave angry.
That’s why this Field Guide always turns the lens back on your own responsibility, too.
Because if everyone who criticises me suddenly becomes a Moral Sniper, and everyone who leaves me becomes an Exorcist, I haven’t built a map.
I’ve built myself a suit of armour.
Over 25 years, I’ve learned how important it is to examine my own responsibility rigorously. Even when it hurts.
But I’ve also learned:
Self-reflection is not self-blame.
You can take full ownership of your part without taking on theirs as well.
What you get
- 10 recurring dynamics and their early warning signs. So you recognise patterns sooner, before they put more and more strain on you and your work.
- Four key questions for each dynamic. So you can make sense of difficult situations and tell what belongs to you and what belongs to the other person.
- Guidance on power, boundaries and responsibility. So you know when to act – and when it’s time to end a process.
- A chapter on narcissistic dynamics. So you understand problematic patterns better, without diagnosing anyone.
- 5 fillable worksheets. So you can build your own professional early warning system.
- The perspective of 25 years in practice. Drawn from the experience of being responsible for people and groups.
- Clear words for difficult moments. So you can respond with clarity instead of getting lost in endless explanations and justifications.
For people who work with people.
For coaches, therapists, trainers, facilitators and anyone who guides or leads people professionally.
Especially for you if you’re highly empathic, reflect deeply and quickly see the potential in others.
If you sometimes take on more responsibility for someone’s growth than they do themselves.
This Field Guide helps you recognise difficult dynamics sooner and act with more clarity.
Understanding is not the same as an all-clear.
A person can have good reasons for their behaviour. The behaviour can still be a problem.
You can examine your own responsibility, own your mistakes – and still set boundaries.
Understanding someone does not make you responsible for their behaviour.
WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU,
when you work with people.
Recognise difficult dynamics sooner and gain clarity for your decisions.
10 dynamics with early warning signs and practical tools from 25 years of practice.
By Alexandra Sorgenicht.
You will believe your perception earlier and make your rooms even safer – for yourself too.
Less than the cost of a single supervision session.
Digital Workbook to download, fillable PDF
86 pages
10 dynamics with early warning signs, Four key questions for each dynamic, Clear words for difficult moments, Chapter on narcissistic dynamics, 5 fillable worksheets
33,00 Dollar
60-Day Money-Back Guarantee
We want you to feel confident about your purchase. If you’re not satisfied with your Field Guide, you can request a refund within 60 days of your purchase date. To request a refund, please contact Digistore24 through the support information provided in your order confirmation. Your purchase is processed by Digistore24 Inc.
Do you want to dive deeper?
The Field Guide is a map for practice: compact, concrete, and designed to give you faster orientation in difficult situations. But behind these ten dynamics lies a much larger issue.
I am currently writing a book about this.
About what happens in long-term developmental relationships. About projection and idealization, power and dependence, competition and devaluation. About the responsibility of those who lead – and about the question of why even very experienced, reflective people sometimes only recognize certain dynamics when they are already deeply involved.
In the book I go where the Field Guide deliberately stops.
If you would like to know when the book will be published and would like to accompany me on the journey, join my INTUITIVE LIVING Newsletter.